5 Things I Consumed Last Week (all of Nix 🕊️)

on finding the right people, closeness is rare, competence, creating in public and keeping promises to myself

Among the banalities of everyday life, you have to put in concerted effort to create peaks for yourself and sometimes when you fail to do so, you go back to nostalgia - hence the cover picture- a backdrop I created last week to try and coax Blue Tokai to give us extra coffee and to reminisce a year spent drinking coffee from different estates in India. (credits to my partner who always makes sure we are never out of coffee).

This week wasn’t special, it was tiring and busy. I did find some time to squeeze in 4 workouts, missed a few meals but got the chance to gobble up a whole book. I ended up starting a new book (more about it in the next issue) but time and again I went back to binging on this newsletter - Starting from Nix. This issue is just about that. Rather than giving you a platter of 5 choices, I will make decision making easier for you. If you have 5 mins today before Monday hits back, read one of these.

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Starting from Nix | Nicholes

keeping promises to myself

Walking/running in unfamiliar lanes alone with my headphones has always been sacrosanct to me, not because I despise being with others but because this is the only time when I can truly be with myself, with my senses totally focused on my body and emotions.

You are never more devotional to your conscience than when you are alone, which is the prime time to realign - goals, life, finances, feelings etc. and to keep promises to yourself.

All the promises I made to myself back then were really small things, like studying for a test or telling someone I cared for them. But I guess everything feels like a small thing until one day it changes your life, right? It felt good to keep my own promises. So simple. I felt capable of steering my life in a certain direction without much external input.

I noticed that when I make and keep promises to myself — even small things like focusing on health or pouring time into a creative project — I feel more whole, more settled, more trusting of my intuition and inclinations.

This issue from Nix took me back to my first solo trek and to this jumbo Spanish Omelette I had after a 12km walk in Bir, Himachal Pradesh, India. I am sure when you read it, it will take you back to some of those precious moments you have spent with yourself.

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finding the right people

I was instantly moved and filled with gratitude towards my friends, when I read this quote:

Relishing the company of people who sometimes make you feel, by comparison, uninformed, closed to new ideas, disordered, defensive, rigid, fearful, unambitious is an acquired skill. It kicks up shame. It humbles you. It dares you to grow. (unknown)

There’s certainly something sacred about being in the company of right people - people who match your vibe and create a safe space for you to be yourself. On some days, I imagine what would my life have been if I wouldn’t have met someone I am friends with now. All those permutations and combinations that the universe offers you is such an enormous gift to be thankful for.

You do have to look for them. Engage with content you enjoy, things that resonate. Reach out to people you find interesting. The worst thing that can happen is nothing changes. That’s a pretty asymmetrical bet.

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closeness is rare

Moving out of your home, gives you the independence to be on your own but robs you of breathing the homely air of your room, the old photo frames of you as a kid (most of them embarrassing), the way you are being pampered when you are sick and how you can put your legs up and let your parents do all the heavy-lifting of maintaining a household.

When I first moved to New Delhi, it felt overwhelming to be surrounded with so many people, especially living in a building with 100+ girls and trying to maintain relationships with everyone. It was a long process to step outside of circles where my existence didn’t matter, to not give away fake smiles in order to truly be close with my tribe.

This issue is all about closeness and finding your tribe.

I know what I like now: individuals, closeness, depth, vulnerability. I don’t like: intense parties, large groups, clout-chasing. I don’t force a lot of things now.

closeness is rare

Big cities are just an entangled web of people all one degree removed from each other. I found it both intimate and jarring: being flung into proximity and expected to swim. But actual closeness is rare. Which is why in a crowded room or a bustling city you can still continue to feel terribly lonely.

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in love with competence

The world will ask you who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you. ~Carl Jung

Reading this issue, reminded me of ‘When the Money’s Just Too Damn Good’ by Nat Eliason which talks about how the more you succeed at how you’re paying the bills, the harder it will be to go back to what you were trying to fund.

When the Money's Just Too Damn Good

In a world where measuring yourself against everyone is easy and falling for things which you are supposed to do instead of things you want to do is easier, taking chances for things that satisfy your gut seems daunting. Do you also question yourself on whether you are doing what you are supposed to do or what you want to do? Do you have your definition of competence?

If you don’t, this issue will make you question.

When my friends ask me why I write, I explain that writing feels like the sensation of warmth flooding in after being in the cold. Joy. Relief. Coming home. It’s been my mirror — when I’m frustrated, heartbroken, burned out, exhausted — it shows me who I am, the most beautiful version.

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why you should create in public

I am always at crossroads when it comes to answering questions about content creation. Do I really have to create reels? Will long-form articles survive the dopamine hit of short-form content? Yada Yada Yada

There’s always this tiny, panicky voice in your brain that believes you’re actually delusional. What if you fail in public? What if people are apathetic toward your product? What if, after all the effort, what you’re sharing is simply kind of shit?

I have never looked at it through a lens of emotion and maybe it’s my discomfort rather than a 1000 other factors that keep me from creating more in public. Nix did a great job in this issue by succinctly emphasizing on personal discomfort as a barrier to progress - applies to every goal in life honestly.

I don’t feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning. If you knew when you began a book what you would say at the end, do you think you would have the courage to write it? What is true for writing and for a love relationship is true also for life. The game is worthwhile insofar as we don’t know what will be the end.” – Foucalt

Hope you read at least one issue tonight. Happy reading :)

See you next week.

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Always grateful for the love,

The Hummingbird🌺

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